larshaukeland

Part 7: Breaking sexual bondage

Amongst all the people who seek Christian counselling, about 90% are men. And amongst these men, the great majority of them are in some form of sexual bondage.

Yes, Satan is behind much of the sexual bondage in society. That does not mean that men and women are off the hook for their actions; you can’t say “The devil made me do it”. But we must recognize that when we allow Satan to get a foothold in our lives, this is one key area in which he will attack us, especially as men. The enemy desires to wipe out men as leaders in the home and in the church. Yet there has been some exciting results as God enables many men to come to freedom in Christ.

Many people who have been in this situation testify to feeling that their situations  were hopeless. The enemy can build tremendously powerful strongholds in our lives when we believe and act as if there is nothing that can be done about our problem.

Remember what a stronghold is? It’s a mindset impregnated with hopelessness that causes me to accept as unchangeable something that I know is contrary to the will of God. Once I believe there’s no hope for me to change, I only have to choices. Either I can give myself over to the sin, or I can give up and try to take my life.

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A WIDESPREAD PROBLEM

It’s so easy for men to be trapped by the lust of the flesh. But this part in our study is not only for men. Our permissive society has now made it seem acceptable for women to pursue every possible sexual perversion too. Many of the young women coming to Christ has become involved in sexual perversions while living in dormitories at college campuses.

Even a woman who is not having a problem, however, can experience devastating effects from her husband’s sexual sin. Guess what intruding thoughts the enemy attacks her with when she discovers her husband is into this stuff? “There must be something rong with me. I must not b very attractive to him if he has to get his ‘thrills’ like this. He wouldn’t be doing this if everything were OK with me. I must be a failure as a woman and a wife.”

What a powerful attack on a woman, hitting her at her greatest point of identity and vulnerability.

Like every satanic attack, the area of sexual bondage affects the family.

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SPRINGING THE TRAP

Let me show you several ways that Satan can spring his trap of sexual bondage. He can use people and experiences at almost any stage of life to ensnare us.

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Friends and acquaintances

A medical doctor had grown up in a Christian family with his brothers. He lived a pretty sheltered life and had little knowledge of sexual matters. When he was eleven years old, another boy introduced him to pornography and masturbation. He stayed in bondage to this all through the rest of his childhood and early adulthood.

He thought getting married would solve his problems, so he married a young Christian woman active in the church ministry. But his marriage didn’t resolve his problem with lust. His wife had no idea what he was struggling with as he sank deeper and deeper into his sin.

Soon he had given up hope and was resigned to being in bondage. But he came to freedom along with many others at a conference, using the principles of spiritual warfare mentioned in this study.

When he came back to his church and told how God had delivered him, men seemed to com e out of the woodwork admitting they too were fighting and losing their struggle against lust. This doctor was then able to help them.

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Experiences before conversion

Another doctor heard this mans testimony at another conference. None of this is relevant to me because I would never fall victim to sexual bondage, he thought. He reasoned that although he had been introduced to pornography at a young age and had allowed it to lead him into immoral episodes through his college years, he had given his life to Christ at the age of twenty-one. He reasoned that because this happened before he got saved, it could never happen to him again.

But a few years later this doctor called a Christian councillor sobbing on the phone. He never dreamed that he would end up with serious sexual problems, and that his wife was threatening to leave him.

Later he was set free by the power of Christ. He went home and shared these principles with his wife, and she was also set free. His children were also having enormous problems, including nightmares. When their father got his life sorted out, he was also able to help his kids.

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Childhood trauma

One man who had gone to a Christian therapist at a hospital had told him he had to live with his identity as a sex addict and go to support groups for it. He was so distraught that he told a later councillor that the only reason he didn’t commit suicide was because he was afraid that he would fail and be sent back to the hospital.

This man’s problems reached far back into his childhood when he had problems with homosexual feelings. He remembers being teased in his first years of school, feeling the message from the other boys that he was not a normal boy.

Over the years, he yielded more and more to these feelings until he reached a place where all hope seemed to be gone. These were not God’s thoughts, but intruding thoughts from Satan. God calls us special and created us distinctively as male and female. By believing the enemy’s lie, Satan had been given a foothold in his life. Satan was allowed to build a towering stronghold in this man’s life, and he slipped into sexual bondage.

Together with his Christian councillor they went through Romans 6 using a special study technique that personalizes those verses. Soon that man could return home and enjoy his newfound freedom.

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A ROAD WITH NO END

Here’s a truth we all need to keep in mind. Sin and lust can never be satisfied. We just cannot get our fill to the point of satisfaction. Sometimes crossing one line can make you go on to cross other lines as well. You will always want more, better, higher ecstasy.

Sexual sin is like that. It can never satisfy, but it will always promise more if we participate more. And that’s how Satan typically operates. Never content to leave us wading in the shallows of sin, he’s always luring us deeper until we’re way over our heads.

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THE “ROMAN ROAD” TO FREEDOM

The path to freedom from sexual bondage is found in Romans 6. This is a marvellous chapter, and we use it regularly in our counselling. Allow me to point out the key truths that spell release from sexual bondage.

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Bad news, good news

Reading only the first half of the verses as we go through Romans 6 shows the problem. Read the first half of each verse, then go back and read the second half, and you will be able to draw out the implications – and the positive choice we can make.

For example, the first half of Romans 6:12 says: “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body.” The word reign gives us a picture of a king on a throne. That’s an accurate picture. Consider what happens if sexual sin is sitting on the throne of someone’s life. The rest of the verse says: “that ye should obey the lusts thereof.” A king is to be obeyed. Paul is not necessarily talking about just sexual lust here. Lusts are strong desires that can come in a number of areas. Whatever the problem, if it reigns over us, we must obey it.

Soul ties

The lure of eroticism

Seeing the truth

Yielding to Christ

THE TEMPTATION TO GO BACK

Selective memory

Fortifying our hearts

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